Gnome Home

Last weekend my mom made cookies and she made a few special ones for me … gnome cookies!!!
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I like gnomes. A lot. Like, really, really like them. And over the years I’ve collected a few. When I brought home these gnome cookies it made me wonder just how many gnomes I really have. I honestly had no idea so today I decided to walk around the house and take an official count.

I have inside gnomes and outside gnomes. Typically the inside gnomes are smaller or pretty or less durable or have something special about them that makes me keep them inside so they don’t get destroyed by the weather or squirrels. The outside gnomes, therefore, are a more durable breed, are built to climb trees, swing from branches or play around in the garden.

As I made my tally, I had to constantly revise my numbers because I would find another gnome where I had forgotten to look the first time.

Here is the official breakdown:
Living Room: 1 gnome
Kitchen: 4 gnomes + (2) gnome salt & pepper shaker set + 2 gnome dishtowels
Sun Porch: 9 gnomes of various sizes and 2 more gnomes on a crafty foam watering can that my niece & nephew made for me
Backyard: 16 gnomes

When I was counting the gnomes in the backyard and got to sixteen I had to start over because I thought “No way, that can’t be right, I must have included the numbers from inside. But sure enough I came up with sixteen. Despite the fact we have a very small backyard, I swear visitors are not overwhelmed with gnomes the second they step foot back there. What I’m trying to say is: I’m not a crazy gnome lady. I swear. In my defense, many of them are very small and fit inside flower pots. And some of them are clumped together like the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” triad. Or like the five gnomes that are climbing the trees (there was a sixth one, but he broke both of his arms. Poor guy.) They are a set, so its kind of like one gnome. But there are really five.

Other gnomes have been broken. Arms or legs or heads have broken off. I can’t bear to get rid of them though. I usually try to super glue them back together, but sometimes that doesn’t work. So I just kind of keep them around in different spots inside and outside the house. Brad Pitt thinks its totally creepy to have a gnome arm or foot just laying around. But he must feel the same way about the gnomes because he has never taken it upon himself to throw them away. In fact, this summer I found one of my pretty gnomes laying in a flower pot and he said “Oh yeah, sorry she must have been on a suicide mission because before I knew it she jumped off the desk and broke her head off.” After he witnessed the tragic event, he carefully laid her in the flower pot with her head next to her body so she could be “whole” again.

Back to the total number of gnomes… adding up the numbers from above I would have to say I have a total of 36 gnomes. But that doesn’t include the gnome t-shirt or the gnome stamp friends have given me as gifts. Or the gnome that was on our front porch that some jerk stole a couple years ago. (I was traumatized.) Or the gnome ornaments I have for our Christmas tree. (I don’t know how many I have … My guess is at least five. Or more.) Plus the two gnome cookies that are currently in a plastic container on the kitchen table. But those don’t count because I’m going to eat them later today. So, the best estimate I have is around 40 gnomes. Its probably safe to say I live in a gnome home.

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