Coffee Shop Stalker

Yesterday Brad Pitt spent some time working from his favorite coffee shop. I had to run errands and just happened to be nearby. So, I found his car, brought out my best junior-high-girl handwriting and left this note on his windshield:

I knew there was about an 80% chance he would freak out when he read the note, believing some teenage girl had been stalking him and it would definitely make him super uncomfortable. This is why (a) the note was hilarious and (b) the reason I wrote it on the back of La Quinta note paper. We stayed at a La Quinta over the weekend so if he was smart enough, all he had to do was turn it over, see the branding and realize the note was from me, his one true love.

It turns out that I am a genius because he really did think someone was stalking him and he did get worried. This is what happened:

As you can see, I had to use images of the “real” Brad Pitt to depict yesterday’s events. Not only did “my” Brad Pitt tell me I can’t use his real name, but yesterday he informed me I can’t use real pictures of him on my blog. So, Real Brad Pitt photos will have to do. I know he is terrible to look at. Just terrible. I’m so sorry. Think about how hard this was for me. I had to spend so much time searching for images of Brad Pitt online.* Hideous. I hated every second of it.

I’ll be honest. The last picture of Brad Pitt is not totally accurate. He was actually happy when he discovered I was his coffee shop stalker. Not so much because he realized I am crazy in love with him. More so because he can safely go back to his favorite coffee shop any time he wants without the fear of a brunette junior high girl sitting and staring at him.

*I plucked the Brad Pitt faces from the following sites:
photopostcards.blogspot.com
reinvestorplaybook.com
blogs.publishersweekly.com/blogs/beyondherbook