This past weekend marked the five year anniversary of the day Brad Pitt proposed to me.
Flash back to five years ago:
Brad Pitt invited me to breakfast and a hike because it was the first day I had off from work in a very long time. We had actually been to a fancy wedding the night before and I managed to spend the entire morning talking about how I never wanted to have a big wedding because I couldn’t imagine spending all that money on one night. I went on and on about how I didn’t want to get married. (I really REALLY wanted to get married, but I didn’t want a big, fancy, throw-down wedding.) So he just sat there and let me ramble on and on. He was so patient.
Before we left the diner, he had to use the restroom. I think a mixture of the booze the night before, the greasy diner food and a boat load of nerves were to blame for his extended visit to the facilities. When he finally emerged, we headed to the trails.
I thought it was odd that he was wearing a backpack during that hike. Never before had he worn a backpack, but, hey, whatever. And then he kept holding my hand. That was just as weird as the backpack. But, again, whatever. By the time we approached my favorite bridge and overlook area he had been talking all sweet and lovey-dovey and I was really wondering what was wrong with him. But I just played along thinking maybe he had lost some brain cells when he cleansed his system in the diner bathroom.
And then I turned around and he was down on his knee holding a ring. That is when all the really nice, lovey-dovey, romantic words flowed from his mouth but I didn’t really hear them. I saw his mouth moving and heard a few things like “you are so wonderful” “you are the best” “I can’t imagine life without you” etc etc.* And he asked me to marry him. And I said…
“Shut up! Are you kidding me?!? Are you kidding? Are you serious? Oh my God. Are you kidding me?!?!”
And then I said yes. And then he pulled out two mini bottles of champagne, glasses and a bunch of chocolates from the backpack he had been carrying.
What a stud.
Flash Forward to this year:
Brad Pitt woke me up and declared “Happy Proposal Anniversary! Because I actually remembered, I would like to take you to a mediocre breakfast and then go hiking if we have time before you go to work!”
We had time for the breakfast, but not the hike. And the breakfast was actually great. Much better than mediocre. (Good enough that maybe I’ll start liking breakfast foods! Maybe. But don’t count on it.)
And while we didn’t have time to go hiking afterward, we did manage to recreate part of the day. We both ended up running to the bathroom as soon as we got home, thanks to lots of coffee and good ol’ greasy diner food.
And, to keep the romance alive, my phone rang while I was sitting on the pot. When I looked down I saw Brad Pitt was trying to FaceTime me from the downstairs bathroom. When I answered he said “Hey! I just wanted to spend more time together!” We made goofy “I’m pooping!!” faces at each other that made us both laugh. And we laughed. And laughed some more.
I just have to say: I’m so glad he proposed to me five years ago.
*To be honest, I don’t really remember what he said. But all those things are very likely and it sounds good to me now. So we’ll just pretend that those are the things he said.
PigTales 