Last night I got hit on for the first time in ages. It has been so long that I hesitate to even use the words “I got hit on” because it just feels awkward. Nonetheless, if you consider an offer to “grab some drinks after work” getting hit on, then I got hit on last night.
Alyssa and I were working in the shop and three guys stopped in early in the evening. They goofed around the store and eventually bought a few things before heading out for drinks.
About a half hour before we were scheduled to close, two of the three guys came back in. That is when they asked if we would like to join them for some drinks at the bar next door. I think I just stood there, dumbfounded, and probably with that “deer in headlights” look on my face. What?!? Drinks with boys I don’t even know? I haven’t had drinks with strange boys for at least a decade!
Alyssa stood there all calm and cool because I’m sure it happens to her all the time. She’s young, pretty and single (well, she is dating someone but she is in the not-married-single category.) So apparently a response was left up to me. And do you want to know what I said?
I have spaghetti in the crockpot? How old am I?!?!?!?
Everyone just looked at me. So I said…
“I mean, spaghetti sauce. Like, its been simmering all day and its going to be so delicious. You know, like the kind an old Italian grandma would make? Like that. Its going to be delicious.”
And then one of the guys nodded and said “Yeah actually it will be good, that’s how my mom makes it.”
Awesome, so now I have gone from “lets have drinks” to “you cook like my mom.”
But then they asked again…. “Are you sure you don’t want to have a drink? Its in the crockpot.”
At this point I realized I needed to make it obvious that not only did I have some kick-ass spaghetti sauce waiting for me, but I also had a husband at home. So I was waving my hands around trying to blind the two young gents with the diamonds in my wedding ring.
Eventually they left and after about five minutes I turned to Alyssa…
“Oh my God. Did I really just say I have spaghetti waiting for me in the crockpot?!?!?”
And we busted up laughing. We came up with a number of other (better) responses that we could have used, but none of them are appropriate enough to share in this post. They are hilarious though and I’m cracking up just thinking about them.
I couldn’t believe I had been hit on (or my spaghetti sauce response) so I called my mom as soon as I got off work. Apparently she thought it was hilarious enough that she immediately called my Seeester when we got off the phone because within minutes I received this text message:
I have to say, I didn’t lose my mojo … I just transferred it. It relocated from the “flirting” department to the “cooking” department. My spaghetti sauce was un-freaking-believable. It was the best meat sauce I’ve ever made.
Here is my recipe for my Mojo Meat Sauce:
1 lb Bone In Pork Chops
1 lb Lean Ground Beef
1 jar of Emeril’s Roasted Gaaahlic Sauce
1 jar of Prego Italian Sausage & Garlic Sauce
EV Olive Oil
Dried Oregano, Basil
Pasta (spaghetti, bucatini, any long noodle will do)
Salt & Pepper pork chops. Add olive oil to pan and brown chops on each side in a hot skillet. Remove and place in crockpot. Brown ground beef in same pan. Add pinch of oregano and pinch of basil to meat. Toss in any other herbs you want, too. Remove grease with paper towel. Add ground beef to crockpot. Pour both jars of sauce into pan, stir to pick up bits of meat and flavor. Add sauce to crockpot. Cook on low all day. Serve with spaghetti (or other favorite) noodles. (Don’t forget to remove pork bones when plating your pasta.)Now that is some real mojo.