There are just not enough hours in the day. Nor are there enough hours to update you on what has been happening in Pitt-land.
In a nutshell:
Brad Pitt accepted a new job.
We are moving.
I’ve been busy cleaning, de-cluttering and cramming all of our shit into closets so we can sell our house.
That is the nutshell version. Here is the larger nut version…
He will be a ________ at _________. I’m not “allowed” to say his new job or company to further “protect his anonymity” for those who don’t already know who he is. But I will say this: its a really great position at a national magazine. (Hope you read quickly because he will probably make me delete that very soon.)
Really he just doesn’t want to be associated with me or anything I blurt out on my blog. I have no fucking idea why anyone wouldn’t want to be associated with my bad-ass-ness. But when trying to maintain a professional appearance I guess it might make sense that he wouldn’t want people to know his wife may or may not have accidentally dropped a Hershey’s Kiss in the Kansas City Royals parking lot.
So, speaking of Hershey’s Kisses … we are moving to Pennsylvania.
Oh. I’m not “allowed” to say that anymore, either. I’m supposed to refer to the state by its proper name. Unless I refer to it in a sweeter term, like “Penn-y-sylvania” like our dog, Penny. Brad Pitt is okay with me when I say that.
So, okay, we are moving to Pennsylvania. In a few short weeks. Not to Hershey. But close enough. Its in the same state.
I honestly don’t know where we are moving. Just a general idea of the area. We have yet to find a place that satisfies our criteria:
1. Close to culture, restaurants, cool people.
2. Not close to “bad people” like druggies, robbers and rapists.
3. A place with 2 bathrooms because its always nice to have a second shitter.
4. A place that allows dogs. Two dogs. Even if they weigh as much as one dog put together, they still count as two.
5. A place that doesn’t cost a fortune. I want to be able to travel back to Kansas City and see my family whenever I want. I also want to have enough $$$ to visit all the places we’ll now be close to … like New York City. And Philadelphia. (Cheesesteak Sandwiches!!) And the Jersey Shore (why did I give my Snooki wig to my niece?!?!) and Hershey, Pennsylvania. Oh yeah. I’m totally going to Hershey.
I’m also planning on a road trip to Buffalo, NY to finally check off one of my bucket list items: Visit the Buffalo Wing Festival in Buffalo NY. I can’t wait.
And we can visit Washington DC after a few short hours in the car. I will most definitely be paying a visit to our country’s capital. Not so much to catch a glimpse of Obama. More to stock up on my all-time-favorite hometown beer: Boulevard. Pennsylvania doesn’t have Boulevard. They also don’t have a Trader Joe’s. Or Dean & Deluca. What am I going to do!?!?! At least I can find these things in nearby cities. While Brad Pitt is busy in his new office, I will be road tripping solo to buy my favorite groceries, sandwiches. And beer. I’m sure I’ll have a great deal of stories to tell. And hopefully more time in my day to tell them.
Here’s to the next adventure!
Penny and the Princess now known as Pepper don’t even weigh as much as one small dog together. I’m sure they weigh less than Maggie or Lili. They should qualify for reduced pet deposits.
There are lots of places in this country I could have imagined you living. Pennsylvania is not one of them. But opportunity rarely knocks twice, so Pennsylvania it is! I know this is just the start of big things for you both. Love you and BP, and the furry Ps, too.
Thanks Mom. ❤