The Burrito-less Borough

Remember back in the day when I said there was pretty much a Chipotle on every corner? Meaning, you could find one in nearly every town? Boy, was I wrong.

And, remember when I created a list of reasons why Chipotle should offer a drive-thru window? Man, was I being selfish!

Right now I would just be happy to have a Chipotle within a reasonable burrito-eating-distance.

The closest Chipotle to our new condo is 8.2 miles away.

Let me clarify for those who may have skipped the last sentence: THE NEAREST CHIPOTLE IS MORE THAN EIGHT MILES AWAY!

Maybe you don’t understand the sheer magnitude of this predicament.

In my decade+ experience of eating Chipotle, I have never had to drive more than a mile for a burrito bowl. Hell, I had a choice of locations within walking distance, let alone I could hit a Chipotle with a ten mile pole on any given day. See Exhibit A for clarification.

Exhibit A:KCChipotlemap
As you can see from Exhibit A, within a ten mile radius of my former address I had access to over ten Chipotle restaurants. Now, for comparison sake, please review Exhibit B.

Exhibit B:lehighvalleychipotlemap
As you can see from Exhibit B there is one Chipotle restaurant in the area. And its not even in my new town. It is eight miles away! Therefore, within a ten mile radius I have access to one Chipotle. ONE. Only one. I have no idea how else to explain how devastating this situation is at this point in time.

I should probably clarify … Other places in Pennsylvania have Chipotle. Just not in our new town. Or the town next to us. Or the town next to that one. Maybe its because we are technically in a borough. Don’t even get me started on what that means, because I am still trying to figure out the difference between City, Town, Borough and Township. But what I can tell you is this: A borough is smaller than a city and boroughs are apparently burrito-less.

Therefore, I would like to update my plea to Chipotle to nix the idea of a drive-thru window and to just please, please, please find an investor to open a location in my tiny burrito-less borough.

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4 thoughts on “The Burrito-less Borough

  1. I see you are located near the town of Macungie. Is that the place where they originated teh sport of jumping off high places tethered to a long elastic cord made of tightly interwoven mac and cheese?

  2. When you figure out what a township is, will you also explain to me the “Commonwealth” of Pennsylvania and why it is different than a regular ol’ state?

Thoughts??

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