Friday the 13th Foul Play

Oh dear Lord a bird just crashed into our living room window.

I heard the THWACK from the kitchen and knew instantly what had happened. See, I used to work in a building that was filled with windows. Awesome, “green” construction, that allowed glorious amounts of natural light to filter in which reduced amount electricity used in the building. And we had birds suicide diving into windows on a regular basis. Almost daily. It was horrifying.

Apparently, birds will fly straight into a window for two reasons:
1. They don’t realize there is a window, it just appears like open sky and they want to keep flying forward.
2. They see their own reflection and plan to fight the “other” bird.

NOTE: I have not fact checked the above reasons through Google, but I’m pretty sure they are legit.

When we moved into The Condo I knew the day would come where a bird would smack right into a window. All this beautiful natural light pouring in from these huge, uncovered, transparent framed glass. It was bound to happen. I just didn’t want to be here when it did.

But I was. And it was today. Friday the freakin’ 13th.

The Little Monster went from a fuzzy little napping ball to running full speed toward the balcony door. She, too, heard the commotion.

Of course, I was in the process of preparing my lunch and was going to say goodbye to my appetite after I investigated the scene.

All of the birds outside were flipping out. I am not even kidding. First, I peered through the mini blinds, hoping that maybe something else had hit the window. That is when I saw a cardinal, a few robins and other unidentifiable birds flying around, flapping their wings at each other, looking down toward the ground and a more birds on the ground, walking and pecking and generally just freaking out.

Ugh. I had to investigate further. So I stepped outside and yep, there it was. Laying on the ground, motionless, splayed out and slightly covered by a newly planted boxwood bush.

I grabbed my phone and called our management company who is, thankfully, awesome at responding to every maintenance need. When I told the girl what had happened, she said she would send someone immediately. Then we both tried to make light of the situation. She suggested that maybe the bird was actually okay and it was just stunned. “You know, like it is laying there cartoon-bird-style with stars floating around its head in circles. Just a little dazed.”

I told her I was pretty sure it was dead and kind of laughed it off because I didn’t know how else to respond. But then I stepped back outside, looked down and saw its eyes blinking. “Oh fuck. Its alive!!!”

She was silent. I’ll be honest: I kind of freaked out. “I think its paralyzed! Its just laying there. But its eyes are blinking! The other birds are freaking out. Please just send someone!”

I went back inside.

I stared at my lunch.

I peeked out the window, waiting for maintenance to show up.

I tried to eat.

I went back outside.

The bird and I just kept blinking at each other. (I was trying to use a form of morse code by blinking my eyes to say “Its okay little buddy. Get up. Fly away! You’ll be okay! Please be okay!”)

And then, the best thing happened: The bird got up and flew away!

SIGH OF RELIEF. I was not cool with having the weight of that bird’s death on my shoulders all day.

Happy Friday the 13th. Hope you manage to avoid foul play today!