Vegetarians and cute-fuzzy-animal-lovers beware: This one might bother you.
When My Seeester was younger (like 3 years old) we were playing outside and we found a baby bunny in the front yard. Let’s just say this bunny had probably experienced better days. I think a cat found it before we did and in the battle of bunny versus cat, the cat won. See where I’m going with this?
So, we found this super cute, super not-alive bunny in the front yard. My Dad came to the rescue and retrieved the motionless body (With a shovel? Yeah, that sounds about right. I think he used a shovel. If not, lets pretend like he did. This happened thirty years ago so I doubt anyone is going to bother correcting me. Except my Mom. She will definitely correct me if I am mistaken. And you are welcome to check for any and all of her corrections in the comments section below. She is quite adept at pointing out when I may have made any type of mistake on my blog, via the comments section.)
So, where was I? Oh, yes. We found a bunny.
The bunny was dead.
My Dad scooped up the bunny with a shovel.
And then the most bizarre thing happened: My Seeester freaked the fuck out. She started crying and begging him to stop. She was hysterical.
If she was three, then I was five years old at the time. I know I was old enough to look at her with empathy for her heartfelt gestures. I also knew enough to look at her like she was totally nuts when she started wailing “But he is my husband! Don’t take him away, he is my husband!!!!”
I have no idea how she fell in love and married this rabbit so quickly, without anyone in the family knowing. It must have been one hell of an elopement. Probably an outdoorsy type event, given the groom’s background of living in the wild and all. No matter what we did or said she insisted he was her husband and she was in complete hysterics. It was pretty unforgettable.
So, now, every time I have the pleasure of finding braised rabbit on a menu, I order it. Because its delicious. And, in a (non-traditional) way, I’m honoring my Seeester’s first true love.