Dear darling Brad Pitt,
I just want to give you a heads up that I have a special surprise waiting for when you get home from work today.
I’m making a new recipe for chicken enchiladas. I’m letting you know about this because I’m not quite sure how its going to taste. Turns out, I didn’t have the ingredients on hand that I needed, so I improvised with some random stuff in the cabinet. Only because I had already dumped four brand new, beautiful chicken breasts into the crockpot and didn’t want them to go to waste.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is … there is a chance that dinner is going to suck balls tonight, so you may want to stop by the store and pick up a frozen pizza. Just in case.
PS – the chicken creation is not the aforementioned surprise I have waiting for you. That surprise actually involves a drill. I’m working on a special project on the house. Don’t worry. I’m being extra careful not to fuck anything up.
See you when you get home!