Is a Burger a Burger, if its not a Burger?

Well, folks, it has been fifty days since Brad Pitt and I decided to eat meat-free. Call it a New Year’s Resolution. Call it crazy. Call it what you want. But … I kind of like it.

Wow. Let me stop here for a moment. I just finished writing this post and realized its much longer than necessary if all I want to talk about is burgers being burgers. But I felt the need to explain why I’m eating “fake” burgers. (If they truly are fake. That is still to be determined.) So, if you are curious about the meat-free decision, keep reading. If you don’t give two shits about why Brad Pitt and I decided to consume a truck ton of veggies and beans and other pellet-shaped foods, then skip down to the arrow that looks like this: —–>

I’m shocked as hell. Like, seriously. Shocked. I love meat. I have a dependence on hot wings. Burgers. IKEA hotdogs. Sandwiches bursting with salami and other fine cold cuts. Hell, most nights I would set out a plate of charcuterie for us to snack on before dinner. A dinner which most likely consisted of a big hunk of meat.
Yes. Yes. Yes. All of the above. We were eating a LOT of meat.

So we had this idea that we would go meat-free for one month. Just January. Totally possible. Oh. And there were rules and exceptions:

  • Eggs are allowed.
  • Fish/Seafood is allowed.
  • Meat is allowed if a friend is hosting a dinner party and we really, really wanted to sink our teeth into a delicious piece of grilled flank steak. (Thank you to BC for that dinner!)
  • Meat is allowed if we really, really, really wanted a cheat day (Ie: if I am craving hot wings so badly that I’m about to burst.)

In all, there were only THREE days in January where we “cheated” and sunk our teeth into meat. Flank steak, hot wings and hot wings. (I told you I have an affinity for hot wings.) Otherwise, with our meat-free-life, we were feeling really good. And I was making a lot of new recipes. And, fortunately, I love me some veggies! I also discovered I love lentils and quinoa and beans and many other things I never thought would tempt my taste buds.

So… back to where I started. It has now been FIFTY days of eating a diet packed with veggies. My mom does not understand how I am surviving. I send her photos of my dinner creations and she texts back “well, it looks pretty.” My parents will be visiting us in a few months and I think she is quietly freaking out inside that we are going to force feed them quinoa burgers. My Seeester told her to pack meat in her suitcase “just in case.”

—–> Since I haven’t blogged much in the last two months, I could go on and on (and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on) with tales of our breakfasts, lunches and dinners. But I won’t. I won’t bore you. I will just share some photos of “burgers” we had recently and I’ll share stories of other meals and adventures in the coming weeks.


The burger above was from The Burgery Company. It was their “Cornhusker.” Black bean and corn with roasted tomatoes and whole grain BBQ sauce. Pretty good.

But the burger below … well, well, well… Boom! Pow! Yowzers! I would eat this one every day. This one was the Quinoa Veggie burger from Allentown BrewWorks. Red quinoa, onion, black beans, fresh herbs and spices with herbed aioli … but I put in a special request and in lieu of the aioli, I requested mine 2500º style: Hot buffalo sauce, jalapeños, pepper jack, and blue cheese dressing.


Okay. I’m going to be fully honest with you. When I said I would eat this one every day. I did. Well, for two days. I had this burger two days in a row. Irresistible, I tell you.

My mom, however, felt the need to mock me after I sent her that photo by texting me this photo in return: FullSizeRender-22

At first I was like, “yeah, that looks good!” and then I realized she basically put together a fake hamburger using plastic play food from Toys R Us.

I may be struggling to decide whether a veggie burger really is a burger, but I know for a fact that the burger my mom sent me is most definitely not a burger.

4 thoughts on “Is a Burger a Burger, if its not a Burger?

  1. I wasn’t mocking you. I was just sharing my version of a meatless burger. It’s meat free, gluten free, carb free, dairy free, sodium free and flavor free. Did I forget anything? Ahhhhhhh! Calorie free!


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