Bizarre Breakfast Behaviors

I’ll be the first to admit I have the most bizarre breakfast behaviors. It starts with the fact that I don’t care for “breakfast foods.” Waffles? I’ll pass. Scrambled eggs? No thanks. Oatmeal? Ha. I laugh in your face.

There is a super brief moment in the morning where I am willing to say yes to an offer to meet for breakfast or brunch, but if you don’t catch me in that extremely short window of time *POOF* its gone and I’m ready for “real” food. So, most days I eat leftovers from the night before. Or a hot dog. Or macaroni and cheese. Or rice. Or anything else that resembles what most people eat for lunch or dinner.

Today I realized another one of my bizarre-breakfast-behaviors: I will save leftover fries from dinner and eat them cold at breakfast time. And there are specific ways in which I eat these fries.

1. The fries must be cold.
2. I must use ketchup from packets, not from a jar or squeeze bottle. Packets only.
3. I must not dip the fry into the ketchup. No. I must squeeze a single line of ketchup along the length of the fry.
4. I must squeeze the ketchup onto one fry at a time. No preparing a bunch of fries and then eating them one after another.
5. I must eat each one a bite at at time. No shoving an entire fry into my mouth all at once.

There is something about my method that makes these leftover breakfast fries super delicious. You are welcome to try it yourself. Be prepared for others to look at you as if you are bizarre and disgusting (this is the look I usually get from Brad Pitt) but don’t worry too much about it. Just chalk it up that they are not only admiring you for your genius fry eating approach, but they are also jealous that there won’t be any fries left for them to indulge in for their own bizarre breakfast behavior.