Independent Hand Throwing Vacuum Cleaning

Remember when Destiny’s Child was all “Throw Your Hands Up” to all the single, independent ladies? The shoes on my feet, I bought it. The clothes I’m wearing, I bought it. The house I live in, I bought it.

Well, Beyoncé sure as shit wasn’t thinking about what happens when the time comes and you are vacuuming that house you bought and your vacuum cleaner is busting at the seams because the canister is beyond full.

I have avoided the task for months. Much, MUCH longer than is humanly or engineeringly possible. And I finally figured that today I would tackle the beast because my efforts of pushing the machine back and forth around The Condo were becoming a waste of my precious time.

I swear to you, when I opened the canister I found so much dust and fur that I think I unleashed the lost dog that has a sign posted on a light pole down the street.


But, in my wise, ripe age of 35 I also created the most perfect way to empty the canister without having to witness everything that was gross inside (and to prevent it from crop dusting the entire kitchen) — I shoved it inside an unused trash bag and then proceeded to open, dump and clamp it back up. Kind of like changing a dirty diaper with your eyes closed. You avoid exposure to all that is nasty. (I assume people change diapers with their eyes closed when its a wild, shitty mess. I don’t have children though so I’m gambling on that analogy.)

The second reason to have a significant other: The canister does not re-attach itself. And lets just say, its much easier to disassemble the suck monster than to put it back together.

My fingers are crossed that I did it right. Wish me luck with my house cleaning independence.

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me!


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