Remember the other day when I was writing about unusual tacos and trying to think of what people would consider the most disgusting thing to eat and I thought about brains? (But my mom said cockroaches, so I went with cockroaches.) Well today I found a bunch of packaged brains at the store.
Granted, I was at the Dollar Store and they were fake brains in the Halloween section. But still, a package of fake brains was gross enough to get my attention. They were on a shelf underneath the severed hands and feet and 12-packs of eye balls. I was actually going to buy the eye balls because the Little Monster loves playing with ping pong balls and they were nearly the same size, but I decided against it. They were gross and just enough on the small side I didn’t want to risk her choking. On a plastic eye ball. How bad would that suck? Probably as much as eating brains!
[Random Side Note: The Dollar Store also had pregnancy tests in the cashier-line-impulse-buy-shelf-area. I thought that was odd because who would need to impulse-buy a pregnancy test? Oh, hey, awesome! Candy! Chapstick! Matches! I need some. And a pregnancy test. Great! I totally forgot, but I need that, too. And I’ve had enough friends buy multiple (expensive brand name) pregnancy tests because they didn’t trust the first result, so I’m really wondering how many $1.00 pregnancy tests someone would have to take before they felt safe enough to rely on that cheap brand. I thought about buying one to test it out and then was like “Duh, you’re not pregnant.” And then I was like “Holy shit, what if I peed on the dollar stick and it came back with a plus sign?!? Then I would have to go to the full-price-store to get a real, trustworthy test just to make sure the $1 brand was wrong.” And that didn’t sound like fun. Fake brains sounded like a lot more fun.]
I’m going to put the brains in the fridge so when Brad Pitt asks what we’re having for dinner tonight, I can tell him “Its a surprise, but I’ll give you a hint: It pairs well with fava beans.” And then I’ll pour myself a nice Chianti and dramatically pull the cellophane wrapped container from the fridge and watch for a reaction. I hope I’m more successful with this trick than I was with the whoopee cushion.